"Like a siren’s call, Can We Fix It by Bob the Builder summoned a legion of Polish plumbers, bricklayers, chimney sweeps and a generally talented workforce to the British shores."
For a moment there, I was agreeing with Chris Moyles that this year’s X Factor winner would be called Leo.
Last year was Leon Jackson.
The year before was Leona Lewis.
Notice the pattern? Fortunately there’s no Leo in the final.
But from 1952, with Al Martino’s Here in my Heart, to 1992’s slightly warbley I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston, the Christmas number one spot in the
Then this happened.
So here follows a hit list of everyone who put the boot into Christmas since that fateful day and what they are up to now.
1993 – Mr Blobby by Mr Blobby: The pink-and-yellow spotted crooner now imparts daily financial forecasts via telephone to his bearded chum Noel Edmonds, who has some sort of job in a box factory.
1994 – Stay Another Day by East 17: These poster children for cap-wearing bling-slinging anorak-choking chav idols imploded when lead singer and plumber Brian Harvey claimed Ecstasy made you a better person, got fired, and ran himself over.
1995 – Earth Song by Michael Jackson.
1996 – 2 Become 1 by Spice Girls: The manufactured, massively-talented girl band officially renamed planet Earth as Spice World, demolished all cultural borders with their first single Wannabe and were hailed living saints.
1997 – Too Much by Spice Girls: Despite toppling the might Teletubbies from the top spot, things got a bit eh-oh for the fivesome.
1998 – Goodbye by Spice Girls: Indeed it was … for nine years.
1999 – I Have A Dream by Westlife: Irish boy band managed by Irish boy band manager, Louis “I Like It!” Walsh.
2000 – Can We Fix It by Bob the Builder: Like a siren’s call, this number one summoned a legion of Polish plumbers, bricklayers, chimney sweeps and a generally talented workforce to the British shores.
2001 - Somethin’ Stupid by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman: Between the pair of them, neither could spell something.
2002 – Sound of the Underground by Girls Aloud: See the Spice Girls entry above, but think Girls Aloud instead.
2003 – Mad World by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules: The first glimmer of hope in 11 years. Was this a turning point for the Christmas number one?
2004 – Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid 20: No.
2005 – That’s My Goal by Shayne Ward: Summed up by a poster on his website: “Hiay Shayne Raych here, I cant wait for Butlins 43 days now!”
2006 – A Moment Like This by Leona Lewis: The beginning of the Leo conspiracy.
2007 – When You Believe by Leon Jackson: The conspiracy thickened.
Bring back Mr Blobby.
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