
"This wealth-distributing, beard-wearing, sleigh-driving comrade is really a dyed-in-the-wool pinko Commie."
Santa – who is this chimney-bothering sack-handling magical postman? And has he had a Criminal Records Bureau Check?
Fount of all knowledge and bastion of accuracy, Wikipedia, has several stabs at this fat enigma with a TARDIS for a bag.
In the Netherlands, the benevolent Sinterklaas is partnered with Zwarte Piet, a black Bishop-hatted staff-carrying helper who lives in Spain but catches a steamboat every mid-November.
If land is inaccessible by boat, then a bus, train or horse will do.
Austria welcomes Christkind, a blond angelic sprite.
Julemanden – The Christmas Man – is the Danish equivalent of Santa, but instead prefers to live in Greenland eating cinnamon-sugared rice pudding, topped off with a slice of butter, and is assisted by a strong dwarf called Nisse.
Some believe Santa Claus was invented by Coca Cola. They did not.
But Russia is very quiet about Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle or even just Santa.
The truth is if you lift the iron curtain on this wealth-distributing, beard-wearing, sleigh-driving, hard-working comrade – you realise he’s a dyed-in-the-wool Christmas card-carrying Commie.
***
Speaking of unoppressed free states, The Glorious October Revolution of Bringing Christmas Forward 12 Weeks ended in our household when Comrade Girlfriend took them down.
They will return.
Next week: The X-mas Factor
1 comment:
Last year, I didn't even put up a Christmas tree. Convince me to celebrate in October, I dare j00.
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